Postmortem: Shoeless Man

ATHAN

Previously on REDACTED.

SFX

sound of Jacob sneezing

SLOAN

Postmortem incident report regarding the Aberration known as the Shoeless Man. TRU members in attendance, Eli Reyes. Meeting recording by public relations Agent Sloan Summers.

SLOAN

Good afternoon, Agent Reyes.

ELI

Good afternoon.

SLOAN

Did you have a nice lunch?

ELI

Uh… Y-Yeah? I guess? Nothing crazy, just. A sandwich. I guess.

SLOAN

Amazing.

SLOAN

Um, well, apologies for cutting that wonderful-sounding lunch short.

SLOAN

The black box is reserved at 1300, and the Mezzanine hates delays, so time is of the essence.

SLOAN

With that, would you please begin filling us in on what TRU knows about the Aberration in question? Honestly, we'd be happy to hear any theories that you and your team have devised.

ELI

Sure.

ELI

So a recently reported murder got the attention of my unit due to its similarities of previous cases related to the shoeless man, namely the murder weapon being a set of shoelaces and no reported sign of forced entry to the victim's home.

ELI

While my unit has a history with this Aberration, we aren't certain what attracts the shoeless man in the first place.

ELI

Our running theories include walking inside with dirty shoes, sleeping with shoes on, keeping unmatched shoes by the door, not putting shoes away neatly when you get home, donating shoes without cleaning them first, and keeping old shoes you no longer wear. Basically just disrespecting shoes in any way?

ELI

Well, actually, Lucas did have a theory.

ELI

It involved drinking broth without bread and beating your kids, but then we realized that's just ‘The old woman who lived in a shoe’, so probably not that, and also still involves a shoe.

ELI

So. There was one haunt where we noticed a pair of Converse had been thrown over some phone lines that connected to a home.

ELI

It—could be that?

SLOAN

Hm. I always wondered what the deal was with shoes on phone lines. Waste of perfectly good shoes.

ELI

Yeah. And that was a… messy case.

ELI

Okay, now, here's what we do know for sure. The Aberration utilizes a pair of Oxford shoes to anchor itself to a home. If you see the shoes, it means it's marked a target.

ELI

At this stage, the haunt can be cancelled by turning on all the lights in the house or otherwise exposing every room to a light source. This effectively cancels the haunt and causes the shoes to vanish.

ELI

Targeted homeowners have reported hearing disembodied whispers, typically their own name. At this stage, the haunt has progressed too far to be stopped and the target has two options if they wish to survive.

ELI

Either leave the house until daybreak or place the shoes inside a different residence, effectively redirecting the haunt to other homeowners.

ELI

Considering our previous failed containment attempts, we tried a new strategy by making ourselves his target in a controlled containment site. In this case, we used the previous victim's home.

ELI

Agent Kane and I set up surveillance throughout the house while Agent Hauksdottir and Clark canvassed door to door, looking for evidence of a haunt in progress.

ELI

They were successful. The Shoeless Man's signature black loafers were located and transported to the containment site, re-triggering the haunt with us inside, totally on purpose.

ELI

Shortly thereafter, the Shoeless Man appeared and targeted Agent Kane. Agent Clark then submerged the loafers in Agent Hauksdottir's makeshift containment device, which fully defecated—

SLOAN

What? Defecated?

ELI

—Oh God, no, sorry, desiccated.

ELI

Fully desiccated the Shoeless Man.

SLOAN

Well, that's better, I guess.

ELI

Yeah. Uh. At this time, the Oxfords and the remains of the Aberration were packaged and delivered to Curtain personnel for continued research. Unless advised otherwise, we're considering the Aberration terminated.

SLOAN

Huh. Yeah.

SLOAN

I think that's a safe assumption, given that all that's left of the Shoeless Man is a pile of dust and ash.

SLOAN

Dr. Danse is… …still researching what limited samples your unit handed over, just to be safe.

SLOAN

All in all, the Shoeless Man shares the qualities of most apparitional-type Aberrations.

SLOAN

Something like ATPSC-0034, for example.

ELI

Sorry, which Aberration is that again?

SLOAN

Its colloquial name is Bloody Mary.

ELI

Oh, right.

ELI

I… guess I don't see the similarities.

SLOAN

Well, both use mundane household items as either an anchor or conduit to our plane. I'm sure Dr. Danse–would have a field day comparing the aberrant properties of the shoes and the mirror.

SLOAN

I guess loafers can be shiny, like a mirror.

ELI

Sure.

SLOAN

Were the loafers shiny, Agent Reyes?

ELI

No, not—really?

ELI

I guess maybe a little? Not like patent leather, though.

SLOAN

I guess if we're looking for other similarities, summoning the Shoeless Man does feel like some kind of game kids would play at a slumber party, if that's anything? Not that I have any, uh, much. Not that I have much experience with that. Sleepovers were frivolous anyway.

SLOAN

Have these aberrant events occurred at children's parties? Any child victims?

ELI

Um. Are you o–?

ELI

No. Also, no.

ELI

Not at all.

ELI

To that. No.

SLOAN

I see. I feel like we might have lost the plot here.

ELI

We?

SLOAN

We can move on.

SLOAN

So, now, in your report, I see that a civilian reported hearing whispers inside his home, presumably from the Shoeless Man, and that Agent Clark here advised him that the whispers were in fact a hallucination caused by a gas leak?

ELI

Uh, yes, that's—that’s correct.

SLOAN

Was this gas leak explanation a coordinated decision by your unit?

ELI

Coordinated? Not—not exactly. I mean, sometimes civilians have close calls, and we need to give them something to de-escalate the situation.

SLOAN

I see.

ELI

Right?

SLOAN

Please inform Agent Clark, as well as the rest of your unit, that these kinds of on-the-fly explanations are ill-advised.

ELI

How do you mean?

SLOAN

When your people start improvising cover stories for aberrant activity, things get messy fast. One witness hears about a gas leak, another hears about electrical fire, and suddenly we've got conflicting reports all over the place. That's a nightmare to clean up, Agent Reyes.

SLOAN

Lots of work for me, lots of work for my team.

SLOAN

Keep the explanations consistent, or better yet, let us handle it.

ELI

Understood. I'll, I'll tell them.

SLOAN

Perfect.

SLOAN

I'm glad we understand each other.

SLOAN

Now, let's see.

SLOAN

Normally, I would just pin these deaths on some invented serial killer, but historically speaking, unfortunately, …Serial killers using gas in their MO are exceedingly rare.

SLOAN

Hmm.

SLOAN

Unless?

SLOAN

Hmm.

SLOAN

Okay.

SLOAN

A serial killer who uses a mixture of different household chemicals not as a means to an end, you know, poisoning their victims, but rather as a means to disorient them first.

SLOAN

And our victims just happen to be far enough away from the source that it didn't click.

SLOAN

Okay.

SLOAN

Oh, Agent Reyes–

ELI

Hm?

SLOAN

–You're dismissed. Thank you for your time.

ELI

Yeah, you're welcome.

ELI

Uh. Bye.

OUTRO

Outro theme

ATHAN

Thank you for listening to another episode of REDACTED Postmortem, starring Lyssa Jay as Sloan Summers and Athan as Eli Reyes.

ATHAN

For important links, visit the redactedunit.com for episode details and transcripts, or visit patreon.com/redactedunit for audience directed voting, behind the scenes content, and more.

ATHAN

Consider giving us five stars if you like the show, comment on the platform of your choice, and we hope to see you on the next episode of REDACTED.

ATHAN

Thanks for listening.

Transcript from the production script, matched to the final audio.