- ATHAN
- REDACTED Postmortem is a spin-off series of our main series, REDACTED.
- ATHAN
- While these are not required listening for the core plot in REDACTED, they provide world-building details and are encouraged for the full experience.
- ATHAN
- We highly recommend you listen to the paired REDACTED episode this is titled after before proceeding.
- ATHAN
- Previously on REDACTED.
- JACOB
- Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck--!
- ELI
- All right, come on, you've almost got it.
- ELI
- Just--just two more.
- JACOB
- (Muffled noises)
- ELI
- You're so close.
- ELI
- Just lock it-- Ugh. Hold on, sorry, just...
- SFX
- phone rings
- ELI
- This is Eli Reyes.
- SLOAN
- (Over the phone) Is Agent Kane with you?
- ELI
- Um…
- JACOB
- (Coughing) …bleugh.
- ELI
- He's a little.. preoccupied, but he can sit in.
- SLOAN
- Good. Both of you go somewhere private. Now.
- ELI
- Okay.
- ELI
- We're heading in there... now.
- SFX
- footsteps, inaudible whispering, door shuts
- ELI
- Okay. We're here. What's up?
- SLOAN
- Impromptu Postmortem incident report regarding the case at ATP-0296. True members in attendance, remotely, Eli Reyes and Jordan Kane. Meeting recording by public relations Agent Sloan Summers.
- ELI
- Do we... do we need to come in or…?
- SLOAN
- That depends on what answers you have for me. I got word that there was an explosion at White River. What do you know about that?
- ELI
- Um, the-the town? I mean, nothing, I don't know what-
- SLOAN
- Okay, not you. Would you happen to know who was there?
- ELI
- No, I-I don't have any idea what you're referring to? What makes you think anybody was there?
- SLOAN
- Agent Reyes, please. I have it under authority that Curtain personnel were seen in the area.
- ELI
- Okay. Did your good authority give you a description of who they were? I mean, what-what they looked like?
- SLOAN
- The only thing the sheriff said was that the male was a... "Cutie pie". And "very handsome".
- ELI
- (Laughing) Well, I mean, I-I wasn't there.
- SLOAN
- I didn't think you were.
- ELI
- ...Oh.
- JACOB
- (Whispering) Eli.
- ELI
- Well, I mean, there are a lot of cutie pies--
- JACOB
- Pspspsps!
- ELI
- That doesn't mean it's... us?
- JACOB
- (Whispering) Pspsps!
- ELI
- Hold on.
- SFX
- phone clicks
- ELI
- Why are you calling me like I'm a cat?
- JACOB
- I might be the cutie pie.
- ELI
- Were you there?! (groans)
- SLOAN
- Hello? Agent Reyes.
- ELI
- Okay, okay, hold on.
- ELI
- Just…
- SFX
- phone clicks
- ELI
- Hi.
- ELI
- Yes, sorry. My... Bread finished becoming... toast. I'm back. Still not sure what I can do to help. Could you maybe fill me in on what happened? Perchance?
- SLOAN
- There was an explosion.
- SLOAN
- Let's just say it caused a hell of a lot of damage to some... assets.
- SLOAN
- A lot of problems for certain persons of interest.
- ELI
- Oh, an explosion, you say? Now I see why you thought it would be us.
- SLOAN
- Mm-hmm.
- SLOAN
- Yeah.
- SLOAN
- And it's proving to be incredibly difficult to handle.
- SLOAN
- Thank you very much.
- SLOAN
- It would be incredibly helpful if you had any information for me.
- ELI
- Sure, sure, so, is this like a rogue Agent situation? Seems weird that Curtain personnel would be involved without you knowing about it. I know I'd be incredibly frustrated if somebody on my team left me out of the loop. You know?
- SLOAN
- I can't say very much at this moment, but we're beyond pushing blame for the explosion onto mundane causes. I'm trying to leverage the animosity of the locals against the landowner, but they're not buying it.
- ELI
- They being...
- SLOAN
- The persons of interest.
- ELI
- Right. Them.
- ELI
- Well, if that's all you can share, then... I don't think I can help you.
- ELI
- Sorry.
- SLOAN
- Me too. Call me immediately if you hear anything that could be useful.
- SLOAN
- Agent Reyes.
- SFX
- call disconnects
- JACOB
- So about that, I might have-
- ELI
- You told me you bonded with Val, which is good! You neglected to tell me that involved blowing up a town.
- JACOB
- Is there any other way to bond with Val?
- ELI
- That's a--! Fair point…? No! Not okay! You can't just not tell me things like that!
- JACOB
- Look, in my defense, we've been super busy.
- ELI
- We- (sighs) we were just trying to break your record for most candy bars in your mouth.
- JACOB
- Suuuper busy.
- ELI
- (Sighs) What happened?
- JACOB
- Eloise gave us a tip about an Aberration at White River. Turned out to be a solid lead. Big old river monster.
- JACOB
- And I think the sheriff was feeding people to it.
- ELI
- The one who ID'd you as a cutie pie?
- JACOB
- Guilty as charged.
- ELI
- (Groans) Nothing too bad happened? Right? You're sure?
- JACOB
- I am. For all intensive purposes.
- ELI
- Intents and purposes.
- JACOB
- Fuck you, intents and purposes, whatever. It was a normal case. We got wind that there was some abnormal disappearances. It seemed aberrant. It was, so we took care of it.
- ELI
- By exploding it?
- JACOB
- Again, Val was there.
- ELI
- Right, okay, yeah.
- ELI
- Then it sounds like we did our job?
- JACOB
- Yep.
- ELI
- Nothing else.
- JACOB
- There... was some history there. With Val. I…promised not to share with anybody.
- ELI
- No, no, unacceptable.
- ELI
- Jacob, you can't keep secrets from me.
- ELI
- It's too dangerous.
- JACOB
- It's not my secret! I talked to her though. She promised if it came up again, she would share with the team.
- ELI
- (Exhales) okay. Okay, okay, but... You need to loop me in quicker on stuff like this, okay? I'll have your back when I can, but I can't go in blind to a call like that again. Okay?
- JACOB
- Yeah, for sure. Sorry. I was going to tell you, I... I was trying to figure out how.
- JACOB
- It was just a weird situation. My bad.
- ELI
- It's okay.
- ELI
- All right. (claps and rubs his hands) Stretch your jaw.
- ELI
- I'ma get more candy bars.
- JACOB
- Hey, man, can we, um. Can we phrase that better, actually, please?
- OUTRO
- Outro theme
- ATHAN
- Thank you for listening to another episode of REDACTED Postmortem, starring Jamie Petronis as Jacob Kane, Lyssa Jay as Sloan Summers, and Athan as Eli Reyes.
- ATHAN
- For more information, visit theredactedunit.com.
- ATHAN
- To join the discussion over on Discord, visit the redactedunit.com/discord to connect, and patreon.com/theredactedunit for behind the scenes content.
- ATHAN
- We'll see you shortly for an all new episode of REDACTED.
- ATHAN
- Thanks for listening.
Transcript from the production script, matched to the final audio.
