Postmortem · December 15, 2025 · 9 min
Postmortem: Forest
Sloan is grumpy
Transcript95 lines
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- ATHAN
- Previously on REDACTED.
- NYX
- (Laughs) Now, come on, get out.
- ELI
- Morning, Sloan.
- You keep mentioning lunch, so I—um, I brought you some kolaches.
- I don't know which ones you--
- SLOAN
- Postmortem incident report regarding the aberrant encounter outside Issaquah, Washington. TRU members in attendance, Eli Reyes. Meeting recording by public relations Agent Sloan Summers.
- ELI
- So you don't want any--?
- SLOAN
- Agent Reyes, please proceed with a brief summary of the events of the case.
- ELI
- Okay, um… Our unit was issued a lead involving a hiker gone missing at Poo Poo Point Trail.
- Right. No clear evidence of aberrant activity, but witness reports indicated a suddenness of the disappearances, which led us to believe the lead was worth following.
- Team composition was Agent Kane, Agent Clark, and myself.
- The forest was dense, extremely low visibility, and within minutes of arrival, the Aberration attempted to separate us.
- We were influenced by what was likely some kind of cognitive tampering. Each member of the unit heard different voices of loved ones, people we missed.
- It was very convincing, and Agent Clark, he—uh, he led the team forward to investigate what we were hearing.
- At this time, the plant life around him effectively came alive, apprehending Agent Clark and pulling him deeper into the forest.
- So Agent Kane and myself–pursued the trail, and eventually found Agent Clark partially absorbed into an opening of a large tree.
- The nearby plant life animated, similar fashion as before, presumably some kind of defense response. I kept it busy while Agent Kane attended Agent Clark.
- And ultimately, we got him out and set the tree on fire. It was highly flammable and went up fast, so we contacted emergency services and extracted.
- SLOAN
- Is that all?
- ELI
- Yeah, pretty much.
- SLOAN
- Okay. Before we get into the mess you've made–
- ELI
- Um? Sorry?
- SLOAN
- –Let's hear from Dr. Danse.
- ELI
- Yeah, I don't...?
- SFX
- recording crackles on
- ELI
- O–okay?
- DR. DANSE
- (Through crackling recording) This is Dr. Danse. Research report for sample of ATPC-0578.
- The specimen was taken from the sap residue recovered near the burn site.
- Sample was introduced to the roots of a common fern planted in a tray of soil surrounded by fresh moss. Within 3 hours, the fern demonstrated tremendous growth acceleration, and then mutation.
- Said mutation brought to remembrance an older case recorded by a Doctor Dubrell in 1995, labeled the Sycor Myrrh Tree, given the rising, thorny growths and prolific and aromatic resin that accompanied its growth.
- Unfortunately, Doctor Dubrell's research is incomplete–and they were reported missing shortly after the date of their related documentation. Therefore, we must pick up where they left off. Now, back to the mutation.
- After doubling in size, the fern developed a rudimentary mouthpart similar to the classic Venus flytrap, as well as a kind of stomach organ similar to a tropical pitcher plant.
- The fern also began exhibiting rhythmic movement consistent with phototropism. But instead of orienting toward the light, it oriented itself toward... Well, me.
- Upon further investigation, we found the roots of the fern and the rhizoids of the moss had come into contact and fused, reminiscent of the shared root structure seen in pandotremuloids.
- We then introduced the fern to a larger artificial forest biome within a containment chamber.
- Within 48 hours, the fern's root network had extended and bound itself to most of the flora within the chamber. All connected flora then began exhibiting a similar rhythmic movement in response to larger fauna like myself.
- This movement in the flora appears to be a predatory response. To demonstrate, I am introducing test subject F, an Apodemus sylvaticus, or wood mouse, into the enclosure.
- It's not yet clear how it's sensing Subject F. Movement, perhaps? Heat? Heartbeat?
- In any case, Subject F is not within reach of the flora. This is where it gets interesting.
- See? The flora has oriented toward Subject F, like a cluster of satellites ready to send a signal. It should be just a moment now...
- SFX
- mouse squeaking
- DR. DANSE
- There it goes. Now subject F is moving deeper into the enclosure. The flora will... Uh– the mouse is now being pulled toward the fern to join what remains of subjects A through E.
- Each test has yielded the same result. The flora orients to the nearby subject. The subject demonstrates a sudden interest and approaches the flora. Then the flora grapples and pulls the subject into the primary mother plant to be consumed.
- But this leads us to the question, what attracts the subject? It's as though the plant is calling to it, but our equipment, uh... Uh, our equipment shows no measurable...
- Hello?
- Uh... (clears throat) uh, where, uh...
- (Clears throat) Excuse me.
- Oh, yes. Uh, I've detected no vibrations, no pheromone output, no electromagnetic activity. Whatever form of communication this is, it's invisible to every instrument I– what?
- Hello?
- …Dad?
- SFX
- Recording Ends
- ELI
- Uh… Is he okay?
- SLOAN
- We’ll know once his psych evaluation is complete.
- ELI
- Oh.
- How—how did he even get a sample like that? I mean, that fire was working...
- SLOAN
- Ah, yes! The fire. So happy you brought that up.
- Quite timely of you, Agent Reyes.
- This is when your unit managed to turn around what should have been a routine containment into a public relations nightmare!
- ELI
- Um, what?
- SLOAN
- The fire was bad enough, but then your unit had the brilliant idea of calling the fire department before notifying me or my team.
- And by the time that my team was notified, two dozen—two dozen! Twenty four!—first responders were headed directly toward the site of the Aberration.
- Truly outstanding work on your part, actually.
- I haven't slept all day!
- ELI
- Okay, for the record, and apologies, I just want to make sure I'm understanding correctly.
- I want to make my notes right.
- Are you telling me it would have been less of a containment issue if we had let this turn into a forest fire and burned everything down?
- SLOAN
- I want to make this perfectly clear. The moment that dispatcher received your call, we lost any and all operational insulation.
- Do you understand the weight of that?
- Because I don't think you do.
- We were forced into a race against every single radio ping, every GPS tag, every idiot with a fucking drone who might find a piece of our footprint!
- And that all falls on me and my team to make all of it go away!
- Every single bit of it.
- How do we make it go away, you might ask?
- A significant amount of US dollars were spent in payouts to the county to authorize a detour of all emergency vehicles due to a fictitious gas line rupture.
- This bought Ignatius and the rest of our retrieval team's approximately 15 minutes to collect any and all aberrant residue and any remnants of the previous victims found inside the charred remains of carnivorous trees!
- Despite this, the race against the clock, they performed admirably and no evidence was left behind.
- Consider yourself lucky!
- ELI
- Well, sounds like you did a good job then.
- SLOAN
- (Scoffs) My team exists to handle inevitable public exposure, not to babysit pyromaniac field units with loose lips.
- This is the kind of behavior, this carelessness, I would expect from Agent Clark, but not from you, and certainly not from Agent Kane.
- Now. While this blunder may be difficult to overlook, The Curtain considers this an anomaly admits a mostly clean permanent record. Therefore, no disciplinary action will be issued against your unit. Yet.
- I trust, however, that we can count on you to exercise better judgment in the future.
- ELI
- Yes. O–of course.
- Understood.
- SLOAN
- Great.
- I'm so glad we're on the same page.
- SFX
- drawer sliding
- SLOAN
- And yes, of course I'm taking the ko-lashes.
- SFX
- quick footsteps, door shuts
- ELI
- Did she just call them ko-lashes?
- OUTRO
- Outro theme
- ATHAN
- Thank you for listening to another episode of Postmortem.
- Featuring Lyssa Jay as Sloan, Athan as Eli Reyes, and Dr. Danse, played by Derek Moreland.
- Useful links are the redactedunit.com for more info, episode details and transcripts, patreon.com/theredactedunit for audience participation, bonus content, behind the scenes, and theredactedunit.com/discord to connect.
- Thanks for listening.
Transcript from the production script, matched to the final audio.
Starring
- Sloan SummersLyssa Jay
- Eli ReyesAthan
- Dr DanseDerek Moreland
Content warnings
None listed for this one beyond the usual: horror, violence, language.